Thin Envelope

Oil, 24x20

Dear J------,

I’m sorry you were rejected from your first choice. I myself have survived a similar experience. When I was in high school, I wanted to attend Cooper Union more than anything in the world. It had the reputation I felt I deserved, top notch painting instructors, and was tuition free. Perfect, right? So perfect that, at the time, every other art school was inferior. I applied early and was rejected. It was devastating to say the least. Here I had devoted my entire life to painting, and they’re saying I’m not good enough. Well fuck Cooper Union. And fuck Bowdoin too. Don’t ever feel that you aren’t worthy enough for a school. Trust me, it’s less about talent, and more about who you know.

Whatever college you ultimately choose, you’re going to love it. You will be proud of it, despite taking second place. It’s odd to say, especially considering my feelings at that time, but I’m glad I was denied admittance. Cooper was the wrong fit for me and I have no regrets.

I’d like for you to have a painting I made during the whole ordeal. It depicts me on my bed, hesitating to open the dreaded thin envelope. The grim colors, fading figure, prison like windows, and black pillow all express my dejected, claustrophobic, and anxiety ridden feelings at the time. If anyone can connect to the emotion that fueled the work, you can. I’m not giving the work to reinforce feelings that, at the present, you wish you could forget. I’m giving you the work because art can be a powerful way to cope with distressing emotions. Some people listen to music, I look at paintings. Ideally this will relieve some of the pain that you, along with thousands of other students, are also experiencing. I hope, later on, you will be reminded of how monumental, and at the same time, insignificant, a moment in life can be. Don’t despair Julia, I know things will work out for you.

Please take care of it. It means a lot to me.

Merry Christmas,
Andrew Carr